Monogamy is not natural. But it is normal. Can you feel the tension rising?
Why is it that being in a monogamous relationship is so difficult? The answer is simple. Monogamy is not natural, but it is normal. And more importantly, despite being contrary to our physiological and neurological makeup is still upheld as the gold standard of morality. When the natural and normal are misaligned, there will inevitably be physical, emotional, psychological and spiritual tensions that create conflict within ourselves and with those that we profess to love.
This book provides the answers to why coupledom is so challenging. It takes a deep dive into the concept of monogamy. It helps the reader understand its biology, human history, successes and failures. It outlines the moral dilemmas that drench monogamy and their impact on our ability to create open-hearted and honest relationships.
It is time for us to grow up, be bold and question our most sanctified institutions, not only for our sanity and serenity but for the sake of our children. Currently, when troubles arise, we take the easy way out. We cancel our commitments and separate without first investigating how the relationship structure may contribute to the conflict. We decry the deficiency of our mate rather than question the relationship model may be cramping our ability to connect with them. We reject the building altogether rather than examine the dilemmas diluting the strength of the construction.
This approach is leaving a trail of destruction and trauma in its wake. Bitter divorces create layers of fear and self-protection that hamper the prospect of future fulfilling relationships. And the confused children, devoid of alternative relationship role models, become doomed to repeat their parents’ mistakes. This is a cruel and unusual punishment for the offspring whom we claim to only want the best for in life. Instead, our laziness, lack of awareness, and assertiveness secure their continued suffering.
Far from advocating for any relationship model, this book acts as a compendium of thought on the inherent challenges of sexually exclusive relationships. It weaves wisdom from nature, science, psychology and spirituality to inform, enlighten, confront, and challenge. Its ultimate aim is to help individuals understand their truth and to encourage conversations grounded in realism, reverence, courage and compassion.
This book will help you build relationships that are less fuelled by fear and more founded upon love, both for yourself and others. For just in case no one has told you this lately – you are worthy of love.
The Moral Dilemma of Monogamy is published on Substack. Read more here.